Day 12

I tried on my jeans. They are still pretty tight. I fit into the bigger size, 29 but not into the 28's. I guess as long as I have something to take with me to New York. I am consistantly losing a pound a day which is good.

Adam and I have kind of been in bumm moods lately. I'm hoping that when I get back from New York we will both be destressed!

Day 11

So I was able to start taking the drops again yesterday. I also got to hang out with my sister. It was a fun day and I suprisingly didn't feel hungry at all. I think there might be something to being busy and avoiding the hunger.

So when I woke up this morning and weighed myself, I broke the 150 barrier. It feels really good. I think tomorrow I will try on my jeans to see if I can wear them to New York. I'm so scared that they still won't fit. I really need to be able to wear them because I can't go to New York in the sweats that I wear here everyday. Luckily, I have my dance classes tonight and I'll work out Wednesday and Thursday before I go so hopefully it will give me the added inches that I need!

Day 9

So I didn't lose any weight this morning. That kind of sucks. But I have to realize that it's a timing issue. I just really want to break that 150 barrier. I can't seem to get past it. I have to say that I think about it all day long. It would feel so good to be back in the 140's. That's were I have been most of my life and that's were I feel very, very comfortable.

I do have to say that I have had a very bad image of myself the past couple of months. I know that I am already skinny but it's hard to see it in yourself sometimes. When I was working out yesterday, I looked in the mirror and saw the old Emily, the skinny one that I always was very self-confident about. It made me feel good. I saw it last night as I was brushing my teeth too. I haven't tried on my jeans yet, because I'm afraid that they will still be too tight. Once I break that 140 something I think I may put then on just to see.

I aslo applied for a couple of jobs last night. One was for the Boys and Girls club and the other was for a homeless shelter. They are both secretary positions, which I think that I can do something other than, but both wanted more experience than I actually have. It kind of sucks because I have qualifications and skills that I know I can do something worthwhile with, but feel that no one will look at me because I'm young and haven't kept a job for a year. I guess we'll see what happens.

Adam wanted to add that he loves Emily. He is so funny.

Day 8

well, i can't take drops today because...ummm... girl issues that would not allow me to take a pregnancy hormone. So i'm suppose to stop taking the drops for two days and then continue on. But, i'm suppose to stick to the diet... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So i'm taking dexatrim to keep my hunger at bay. I actually think that I like the dexatrim better because it works better at not making me feel hungry and it has caffine so i am able to get up and go a little better. But dexatrim has no proof of results.

Adam and I ate eggs this morning and then went to the gym for an hour. When i came back from the gym I had lost two pounds. That feels good. Adam is now cooking us scallops which is making the apartment smell like gross fish..... oh well. My stomache is growling but i don't feel that starving sensation that has been presistant over the last week.

Day 7

So I have gotten to the point where I am trying to decide if I want to continue to be hungry or if I want to just gain weight and buy new clothes.

Adam seems to be doing ok, I think he eats a lot more than me. My problem is that I don't want to eat an apple thre times a day.... I want a cupcake!!! But I have lost five to six pounds and that feels good. It will feel better when I get back into the 140's. So Adam came home for lunch and brought lettuce wraps from Pei Wei!!! I do like that... but what are we going to do for date night, we usually go to the cheesecake factory and a movie... that's not happening!!

I wonder if I was working and didn't just sit home, if I would be so hungry. You know, have something to take my mind off the hunger. I did look for jobs today. I did look at a couple of websites this morning. But, I have never been called back from a Monster.com.... how do you find a ligitimate job that will actually look at your resume?

Day 5

So today starts day five. I have lost four pounds!!!! It feels really good. but I admit that I am hungery. The drops taste disgusting.... because it's a pregnancy hormone, i'm having issues. My face is breaking out and i'm rapidily fight off gingivitis that i can't seem to keep up with. It kind of makes me wonder if it's really worth it.

I am hungry but i stuck to my diet pretty well. Last night Adam cooked us some tilapia and I made some pico to put on top of it. It was really good. Adam was still hungry and wanted to keep eating but I was pretty good about stopping. Sometimes I wonder if i'm even getting in the 500 calories.. I'm sure I am! I have to admit that by the time i'm ready to take more drops, I'm starving and craving sugars.

Day 3

So today is the first starvation day. I can eat, but it requires effort and cooking. So today i ate an apple, drank water, then ate gross getting old salad for lunch, drank water, and I have a headache. I'm doing ok hungerwise but tired and have a headache.

So the missionariers are coming over for dinner tonight. Great, feeding someone when we just started this diet. Oh well, guess they will get lots of left overs. I don't really know what to talk to them about though. Hope they are interesting kids!!!